5 Signs You Are Addicted to Being Unhappy and How to Find Joy!

Are you addicted to being unhappy? Surprisingly, you just might be, without even realizing it!

Unfortunately, once you get into the habit of being unhappy, it starts to feel like a normal state of being. As a result, being unhappy can actually become a part of your personality.

So, how do you know if you’ve become addicted to your own unhappiness?

5 Signs You Are Addicted to Being Unhappy and How to Find Joy!

Addicted to Being Unhappy?

There will always be challenging situations that arise in life. And, if you don’t have a strong connection to self, everyday circumstances can cause your emotions to fluctuate up and down leading to unhappiness and depression.

So, are you stuck in a cycle that has caused you to become addicted to being unhappy? Here are five signs you just might be!

1. You look outside yourself for happiness.

Unhappy people look to the outer world for love, validation, and a sense of belonging. And, there are so many easy ways to do this.

Seeking material wealth, staying extra busy through work or by overbooking your calendar, and spending a lot of time on social media, are all easy ways to avoid issues that are too painful to face head-on. And, these are also effective ways to feed your ego. However, they are only temporary fixes.

Go Inward

If you’re unhappy, you do have the power to change how you feel. You may think that people who are happy are just lucky. And, this implies that happiness is something outside of you. The truth is that happiness can only be found inside of you.

So, go inward and connect to self. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you will ever have and it’s the key to a happy, healthy life!

Start by creating a rich inner world. Spiritual practices like yoga and meditation, and spending time in nature will help you achieve this goal. You will find the love, acceptance, validation, and happiness you’ve been searching for.

2. You wait for the future.

It’s easy to fall into the trap conditional happiness. Instead of cultivating joy in your inner world, you look for an event or situation to cause you to feel joy.

In other words, you may be stuck in a suspended cycle of waiting. Here are some common examples.

For instance, “I’ll be happen when…”

• I have a job that is fulfilling (challenging, pays well, etc.).
• I meet the right person.
• I live in a nicer, bigger home.
• My spouse (child, co-worker, friend) gives me more respect.
• I finish my degree.
• I have a healthy savings account.

If your happiness is dependent upon outside circumstances, you may never find the joy that you seek.

And, you are also sending out the wrong signal to the Universe. If you’re constantly in a state of wanting, the Universe will mirror that back to you. The Universe is neutral. It simply matches your vibrational frequency and will continue send you circumstances to match your energy.

Of course it’s wonderful to get what you want. But, how do you know that what you’re waiting for is the answer? In the meantime, you’re missing out the present moment, and life itself!

Be Your Own Best Friend

It’s your responsibility to create the change that you desire. And, your ability to create an amazing life depends on what you do in this moment. But, if you continually make excuses or blame outside circumstances, it could be a sign that you’re addicted to being unhappy!

The Illusion of Being Stuck

Although you might feel stuck in your life situation, that’s simply an illusion. When you live fully in the now, opportunities will present themselves because you’re paying attention.

At every moment, the Universe is renewing itself. Therefore, each moment is fresh, new and full of possibility.

The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle, is a wonderful resource to deepen your understanding of how you can effectively use the present moment to consciously create your life.

3. You resist what’s happening.

When you resist what’s happening in your life now, it leads to suffering. And, it can be easy to fall into a victim mentality: complaining, making excuses or blaming others. This creates negative karma and keeps you trapped in a cycle of lack.

Conversely, happy people are more resilient in the face of adversity. They approach every problem with curiosity and the perseverance to work through it.

Acceptance

Very often we battle against what we don’t want. Instead, ask yourself the hard questions:

• What is the lesson in this?
• What do I have to learn?
• What emotions am I avoiding?
• What do I have to do that I’ve been resisting?
• What is my part in creating this experience?

At some level, you probably realize there’s work to do. And, by not resolving the problem, you are destined to repeat it until you do. The key to growth is to face your challenges head on.

Personal Growth

Ultimately, life is not designed to make you happy. Life is supposed to challenge you. So, when something is difficult, consider it a gift. And, although life’s hardships can push you to your limit, they’re essential for personal growth.

4. You give too much power to your ego.

Your ego is the voice in your head that keeps you in a pattern of negative thinking. And, it’s function is to protect you. However, left unchecked it can do more harm than good.

Ego-based thoughts are repetitive and negative. You will know when a thought is rooted in ego because it will cause you to feel guilty, angry, resentful or unworthy. Regret and guilt over past events and anxiety about the future are all ego-based.

And, although you may have very legitimate reasons for how you feel, these thoughts and resulting emotions will hold you back from living the life you deserve.

The Role of the Ego

Remember, you are in control! So, when negative thoughts start running through your mind, tell yourself that it’s just the ego in action. Don’t get drawn into a narrative that reinforces your unhappiness.

Giving energy to fear-based thoughts will stir up negative emotions which will fuel more negativity. So, allow the the thoughts to come and go without getting weighed down by the bad feelings that accompany them.

The ego isn’t all bad, but it can cause problems if you allow it to. So, take a deep breath and shift your focus. Redirecting your attention is a wonderful and effective way to change your inner state.

5. You stay in your comfort zone.

Unhappiness creeps in when life becomes routine and you no longer strive to learn new things. Challenging yourself is what makes life worth living. So, start noticing the people who aren’t afraid to face their fears. And, don’t just cheer them on, go out there and join them!

Everyone experiences highs and lows in life, and sometimes times you feel as though you fall short. But, have the courage to pick yourself up again. Failure is just another word for expansion. Every experience helps your soul to expand, especially the difficult ones.

Overcoming your fears and refusing to give into negativity builds character and helps you grow into the person you’re meant to be!

Now What?

So, if you’ve identified with some of the indicators above, the next step is to determine what to do about it! Your state of being depends entirely on what’s happening inside of you, so don’t allow the outside world to dictate how you feel. A rich inner life will create an abundant reality.

Create a Joyful Life

1. Quiet your mind.

Before you can take any action toward creating a happy, peaceful life, it’s important to connect to your inner being and quiet your thoughts. Carve out time to sit with yourself in stillness. Breathe in and out slowly. Experience your emotions without resistance.

If this is difficult for you to do, it’s all the more reason to stick with it. That’s an indicator that you may be ignoring issues that need to be addressed. Let the difficult emotions bubble to the surface and face them head-on if possible. (If you have past trauma, please consult a health professional to help you work through this experience. It may be too overwhelming to do on your own.)

By acknowledging and honoring how you feel, you bring acceptance to the present moment. This is the first step in healing.

2. Find acceptance.

Accepting your current situation does not mean that you’re okay with it. It simply means that before you can change your circumstances, you have to see them for what they truly are.

As important as it is not to dwell on our pain, it’s also unhealthy to avoid it. And, there are countless ways to escape your reality: overeating, working long hours, watching too much television, scrolling through social media, gambling, etc. 

Face Your Fears

Although avoidance may work in the short-term, avoidance tactics will make things worse. You can only rise above your circumstances when you allow your life lessons to guide your journey. When you have the courage to face the pain that weighs you down, you will move forward with a newfound confidence. (Please consult a health professional when dealing with trauma.)

3. Notice your emotional state.

What you focus on grows and gains momentum. When you feel bad, or you’re struggling to solve a problem, you’re contributing to that negative momentum.

When you feel great, everything seems to go your way. That’s no coincidence! When you feel good, and you continue to build on those elevated feelings, more good comes to you. Think back to physics class and the concept of inertia. It states that a body in motion stays in motion and a body at rest stays at rest until an outside force acts upon it. Well, you are that force!

Raise Your Vibes

The best thing you can do when things are difficult, or feel depressed, is to change your vibrational frequency. So, do whatever it takes to get those endorphins flowing:

• exercise
• do yoga
• read a book on personal development
• take a nature walk
• connect with a friend
• listen to your favorite song
• spend time outdoors

Any of these activities will boost your mood, or at least shift yourself into the neutral zone.

4. Do what makes your soul feel good.

The best thing you can do when you feel bad is to engage in something that soothes your soul. So, nurture yourself like you would a child or loved one in pain. Meditating, walking in nature, even taking a nap are all activities that will help to reset your brain and raise your emotional state.

The Power of Meditation

Meditating is good for your overall physical and mental health in countless ways. Meditation is a spiritual practice that opens a pathway to our source, or true self. In this sacred space, you quiet the mind and allow the soul, or your higher self, to speak. Now you are able to connect to the Universal energy to co-create the life you want.

As your practice deepens, your brain changes. Your memory improves and you become a better decision-maker. You are more peaceful and have a greater capacity for kindness and generosity. Through meditation, you are spiritually transformed and become happy and healthier.

Love Your Life

Now, all you have to do is feel good and love your life! Feeling good is the foundation of creating a life you love and inspiring a joyful life. Every moment is an opportunity move in the direction of your dreams. So, don’t let unhappiness hold you back!

Get so wrapped up in your amazing life that there’s no time left for negativity. And, make the world a more beautiful place for yourself and the people you love.

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