Health and Wellness,  Midlife

The Female Midlife Crisis: Symptoms, Causes and Silver Lining (What You Need to Know Now)

The female midlife crisis is real. This can be an incredibly difficult phase of life due to the sheer volume of changes you may be experiencing.

So, hang in there girl, I feel your pain. But, there is a silver lining. And, educating yourself is the most empowering thing you can do.

According to Web MD, a female midlife crisis can be triggered by changes you experience as you enter peri-menopause:

  • Changes in eating habits
  • Interrupted sleep patterns
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Restlessness, anxiety or irritability
  • Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
  • Decreased interest in activities you once enjoyed, including sex and hobbies
  • Thoughts of suicide or attempts at suicide
  • Physical aches or pains such as headaches or gastrointestinal upset

The Female Midlife Crisis: Symptoms, Causes and the Silver Lining

The Female Midlife Crisis: Symptoms, Causes and the Silver Lining


My midlife “crisis” began with a quiet, but persistent feeling of unease as I began to experience the physical and emotional challenges that aging inevitably brings. I quickly realized I might have to dig deep here.

So, I began asking myself big life questions,

Generation X and Midlife

If you’re reading this, you belong to Generation X with a birth year between 1965 to 1984. Many Gen X’ers are college educated and followed a similar life path.

For instance, you probably lived independently and pursued a career prior to getting married.

You may have also decided not to have children, or to start a family after achieving a certain level of success in your career.

And, these were purposeful, responsible decisions at the time. However, they can have weighty implications as you age.

6 Causes of the Female Midlife Crisis

A midlife crisis refers to an all too real issue that can cause a lack of self-confidence and leave you questioning everything.

And, while there is no evidence to suggest that a female midlife crisis is actually triggered by reaching any particular age, there are many changes in life that can cause women to experience a female midlife crisis.

Here are some common generation specific stressors that can contribute to a female midlife crisis.

1. Debt

It’s all too easy to get into debt, especially in the more recent economic climate. And, due to the availability of credit cards and loans, it’s become quite a big issue.

As a result, many Americans carry a credit card balance at the end of each month. And, finding yourself middle-aged, in debt, and facing retirement will add anxiety to an already stressful time in life. 

Although many Gen X’ers are highly educated, we’re actually downwardly mobile. Experts estimate that we have more debt than any other age group.

According to a June 20203 report by Credit Karma, Gen X members carry the most credit card debt, with an average of $8,266. On top of this, Social Security is in danger of being depleted by the year 2033, right as many of us hit the retirement age.

2. Significant Loss

Also, our parents are aging and this is a tough transition to make. Many of us are still raising children, or have children in college, while caring for elderly or sick parents.

And, the death of a parent can cause tremendous grief, challenging even the most resilient person.

3. Low Self-Esteem and Codependency

As a woman in midlife, aging may trigger self-doubt and a loss of confidence due to all of the physical and hormonal changes you’re experiencing.

And, if you don’t have a strong sense of self, or if you suffer from feelings of low self-esteem or codependency, your midlife transition will be even more taxing. 

Fear of rejection or embarrassment may keep you from seeking the help you need.

As a result, you may avoid problems instead of trying to find solutions to them. Increased pressure can cause relationships to fail. And, some couples even end up divorcing in midlife.

4. Physical Changes

The road to menopause is not an easy one for most women. Peri-menopausal symptoms can run the gamut from bothersome to debilitating.

And, they can last from several months to several years until you finally transition into menopause.

Irregular menstrual cycles, nausea, hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain, decrease in sex drive, and low energy can leave you frustrated and depressed. And, if you never had a child, it can be a time of grief and loss. 

However, there are some natural, healthy ways of relieving these symptoms.

With the help of a high quality probiotic routine, vitamins and supplements, yoga, meditation, a healthy (or vegan) diet, you can find relief and even start feeling like your old self again!

Keep reading to feel your best in midlife:

  • To decrease bloating and boost mood, click here.
  • To create a personalized vitamin routine, click here.
  • To create the perfect exercise routine for you, click here.
  • To learn how to meditate for relaxation, click here.
  • To find effective anti-aging supplements, click here.
  • To find inspiration in midlife, click here.

5. Social Changes

As you get busier and face new challenges, your social circle may begin to look different. Friendships become harder to maintain and there are less opportunities to meet new people.

Unfortunately, studies show that feeling isolated can cause depression, chronic stress, and poor sleep quality.

In addition, physical and emotional stressors can sometimes lead to the breakdown of a marriage. And, getting divorced means not only losing a spouse and life partner, but the loss of long-term family relationships, as well.

There are also other implications to consider: becoming a single parent, moving households, loss of financial or social status, etc.

6. Emotional Changes

Perimenopause can trigger mood swings and emotional instability. You may also be grieving the loss of the youth and vitality you once took for granted. 

Starting as early as 35 and lasting into your 50’s, women in this stage can experience feelings of anger, impatience, stress, depression, frustration, regret, sensitivity, and irritability.

The Silver Lining

All of this can seem overwhelming, and even a bit scary. But, that’s exactly why you’re here; you’re not alone! There are millions of women, just like you and me, going through a very similar experience.

Have faith! The female midlife crisis is just another stage of life, like any other, with its own unique set of challenges and obstacles. But, there is also a huge potential for growth! 

1. Do one thing that makes you feel brave.

When everything feels uncomfortable, there is a unique opening for new possibilities. That’s because it’s precisely when you don’t feel like yourself that you can more readily take risks. And, opportunities that were once closed to you, will now reveal themselves.

So, whether it’s signing up for a yoga class, bungee jumping, traveling solo, learning a new language, or joining an on-line dating app, do something that challenges your comfort zone.

By participating in new activities, you will change the way you view yourself. And, this will give you the boost of confidence you need right now.

2. Re-frame the way you think about the challenging aspects of midlife.

The female midlife crisis can leave you questioning everything about life.

And, although this can be uncomfortable, it’s also an incredible opportunity for growth and change. So, push beyond your limitations. It’s time to consciously create a new you!

3. Let go of the past.

Midlife is the perfect time for new beginnings! It can be extremely liberating, and even exciting, to put the past behind you.

So, define who you are at this stage of your life. You’ve gained a lifetime of wisdom, and now it’s time to evolve into a newer, fresher version of you!

Start by creating a vision of your perfect life. Then, take small but consistent action steps toward your goals. Once you begin seeing results, you’ll be inspired to keep going!

4. Focus on you!

Congratulations, you made it! After spending the last few decades caring for others, now is the time to focus on you.

Self care is an effective way to care for yourself body, mind, and soul. And, don’t you deserve it at this point in your life?

Here are some resources that will help you to do just that!

It’s All You!

Being informed about the root causes of your midlife crisis is the first step in overcoming its challenges. When you can identity the why behind your pain or depression, you can begin the healing process.

So, what are your thoughts about the causes of the female midlife crisis? Did any of these resonate with you? Have you been enjoying any of the benefits of midlife? Comment below and let’s get the conversation started!

If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe and share with friends! And, be sure to follow on PinterestFacebook, and Instagram. Let’s take this journey together!

Disclosure: Melissa Damiani is a participant in the Routine Probiotics for Her Affiliate Program and ShareASale Affiliate Programs, affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to select merchants, and the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking amazon.com and Routine Probiotics. Although I only promote products that I love, use, and have confidence in, always do your own research before purchasing any product or service. Please read my disclaimer here. Read my disclaimer here.

Melissa Damiani has a BA in Psychology and an M.Ed in Education. She is a personal coach and a lifestyle blogger who lives in New England with her husband and three fur babies. She enjoys reading, writing, practicing yoga, being in nature, British and medieval history, and all things Italian.

2 Comments

  • Jane Laskey

    I loved this post! I can relate to all the symptoms you describe and am trying to make the most out of the opportunities that midlife (and beyond) provide. Your “Silver Lining” section fills me with hope and reminds me that as I look to the new year, my future is bright and full of possibilities. It’s a big shift to truly begin focusing on yourself and your future, but it is so worthwhile!

    Happy New Year to you. May 2021 bring us all good things as we continue our journeys to our best selves!

    • Melissa Damiani

      Hello Jane! Thank you for the thoughtful message and your kind words. I’m so happy that you were inspired by this post and I’m honored that I could be a small part of your journey. Midlife can certainly be a challenge (as we know), but it can also provide some new and exciting opportunities. So, here’s to us, our midlife adventure and a much better New Year. May 2021 bring you love, joy and prosperity! Love, Melissa xo

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